Infertility Sucks.

Infertility Sucks. I got another negative pregnancy test. After months and months of trying, and seeing negative pregnancy tests, we decided to get the professional help that was recommended. I met with doctors, was “probed” more times than I can count, was given drugs that I never thought I would take, and have cried often. We spent several thousand dollars just on the first round of fertility drugs and testing, and, yet again, a negative pregnancy test. The disappointment was more overwhelming ...

2016 was Hard, but Great.

2016 was Hard, but Great. As I look back at the whole year, the feeling I have is best described as, “ugh!” I’ve lost a lot. Infertility became one of the most common words I’ve had to fight with. We lost our Colorado family and community when we moved to Michigan. We sold our beautiful home and all the wonderful opportunities of hosting people from all over the world and having a big yard with bon fires every Friday night. We left our amazing jobs ...

The People Pleasing Disease

The People Pleasing Disease Imagine this: You are at work and you see someone you like walking down the hall. You aren’t romantically interested, but you like them simply because of their fun personality. You see them pass other co-workers and notice that everyone they meet seems to like them too because they give a big smile or a pat on the back. Are you likely to respect this person more or less because they are well liked by everyone? Most of us would answer ...

Why I Love Payday!

Why I Love Payday! I’ve been told I get overly excited about my paycheck. But I love payday! Each time my husband or I get paid, I do a little happy dance, okay not really but it’s a great idea anyway. I get extremely happy, giddy even, when someone hands me the check and I look at the number. I am the one who does the finances in my home, so this always means more work for me. I have to go divide it ...

How to: Boundaries 101

How to: Boundaries 101 Like it or not, boundaries are a necessary part of life. Some boundaries are made for us, like state laws. Some laws are very effective and some are just funny. For example, it is illegal for anyone to cross the state line of Kansas with a duck on their head. Personal boundaries can be the same: they can be effective or effectively useless. Many people go through life feeling taken advantage of, unsafe, rejected or disrespected by certain people. These ...

How to: Self-care

How to: Self-care Taking care of myself, or as us therapists like to call it, Self-Care, can seem selfish to many, but is it really? Sometimes people will say, “I just need a break from life” or “I’ve had a really hard day” to excuse negative behavior like a spending spree, eating junk food, or treating loved ones poorly. This is not self-care. This is self-sabotage. It may feel good in the moment, but in the long run, it is hurtful to you ...

How to Support Someone Who Has a Mental Illness

How to Support Someone Who Has a Mental Illness Educate Yourself. If you suspect a family member or friend has a mental illness or they told you they were diagnosed, learn as much as you can about the illness. Learn what causes it, for example, in depression serotonin levels are low, do you know what that means and how serotonin works in the brain? If not, look it up! Just by being there and loving them is a major help, and the first step is to know what their diagnosis ...

10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Like The Man!

10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Like The Man! Ever get tired of pouring into your husband? Admittedly, sometimes I get lazy in this area, and I think I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel like he is not pouring into me as much as I want, or I just plain don’t feel like he deserves it. Whatever my excuse to avoid giving him support, encouragement, love, and respect…it’s a bad one. He should always have these things from me. It is an unconditional gift I need to be giving ...

What To Do If You See Abuse

What To Do If You See Abuse This is a follow up to my blog about Domestic Violence. Read that, know the signs, then understand what you can do to help by reading below. Abuse is everywhere. One in every three women are abused sexually and that is a staggering number considering how the addition of statistics for physical and verbal forms of abuse would only increase that number. This is not a game and it’s not something to joke about. Sexual abuse doesn’t happen because they wore ...

How to Communicate: 101

How to Communicate: 101 By far the most critical issue married people say they have when they come to my office in Colorado Springs for help is, “we don’t know how to communicate.”   Although communication is a key factor in marriage, it typically is not the biggest issue. After a few sessions, we will usually discover that the issue lies much deeper, and the married couple finds themselves dealing with a bigger problem than they anticipated. Dealing with these foundational issues is the most ...