Be Worthy of Your Sufferings

Be Worthy of Your Sufferings The Russian writer and philosopher Dostoyevsky once said, “There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.” We can recognize the weight of this idea easily enough, but when placed in the context of the holocaust (as it was in Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning), this thought becomes profound. Imagine being starved and beaten for months on end and still holding to this idea! Recently I had a less noble version of this ...

Real Men DO Cry

Real Men DO Cry Whether you heard it from your father, brother, friends, or society as a whole, every man has felt the pressure to hide his vulnerability, namely tears. Either intentionally or accidentally, mankind is taught the rules of the animal kingdom: show no pain, otherwise you are a target. Thus, pain, suffering, or the growth that results from breaking and then healing, is sorely undervalued. Since suffering looks like weakness, we men avoid it strongest since our gender is supposed to represent ...

Seriously, Don’t Face Your Fears

Seriously, Don’t Face Your Fears There is a problem with the traditional way we think about facing our fears. Take the following metaphor to help us understand why: A man stands in the center of a perfectly dark and empty room. The man has lived in this room all his life and has never seen the light of day. In the complete darkness, a small but bright light begins to shine on the far side of the room, about 20 feet away. At first, the ...

A Story about a Painting

A Story about a Painting “This is never going to work,” I thought, “but I’m going to keep pushing forward until someone besides myself tells me I can’t move forward. If I never try, I will always wonder if it could have actually worked.” My wife, Betsy, had long been enamored by the paintings of a man from West Michigan named George Peebles. She loved his style and the vibrant color that often accompanied the moments of nature he would capture on canvas. Many months before ...

We Don’t Know Squat: A challenge to let go of assumptions

We Don’t Know Squat: A challenge to let go of assumptions             How many times over the course of humanity have the greatest minds in this world convinced us that we cannot accomplish something? How many times have they been completely wrong? Flying, for example, was happening only 8 years after it was declared “impossible” by William Thomson, a mathematical physicist. Charles Duell, the commissioner of the U.S. patent office once said, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” He said this in 1899. One of my favorite stories on this topic ...

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason Have you ever said to yourself things like, “I wish life was better”, “I wish I felt more fulfilled”, or “I wish I had more peace in my life”? If there was a guaranteed way to make life better, how far would you go to get it? What if the 3 pounds inside your skull could make your life better even without a single thing about your external life changing? That all sounds like it would be amazing right? Now, ...

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain This post is a follow up to an earlier post that I recommend you read first: How To Stop Negative Thinking. Negative thinking hits us all. I know that, for me, it is incredibly difficult to stop myself from going around and around the whirlpool of spiraling thoughts, eventually sucking me into anger, depression and frustration. Once we hit the rim of a negative thought, how do we stop the inevitable spiral down? It’s incredibly discouraging to try and try again ...

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication When my wife and I moved to Colorado Springs for a new job we had been married a whopping two weeks. Thrown into a life where just about everything was unfamiliar, we were set up to have some serious conflict. We were also very ill prepared for how to have a healthy fight. Like many young married couples, we had heard the ideas like “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and the horror stories about marriages ending because ...

Of frozen pizza and forgetful husbands

Of frozen pizza and forgetful husbands In honor of the many respectable women that I know, my wife being the fairest of them all, I wanted to offer this blog post to give some insight and encouragement for those moments when your husband just doesn’t seem to get it. Husbands, this is for you too because this post holds insight into what your best lady might be thinking through the process. How many men in this world have heard “You seriously can’t remember this?” or “We have ...

Why I’m Right All the Time and You’re Not

Why I’m Right All the Time and You’re Not Once I was riding in the car with a friend who took my wife and I to see an event. The event went well and we all had a fine time, but something interesting happened on the way home. Our friend who, about 10 minutes earlier was complaining that someone was driving too close behind her, was driving too close behind someone else. Traffic on the three lane highway was minimal at that point in the trip and she could ...