Could Everyone be an Addict? (Part 1)

Could Everyone be an Addict? (Part 1) In his book, Addiction and Grace, Dr. Gerald May said, “To be alive is to be addicted, and to be alive and addicted is to stand in need of grace.” What do you think about that statement? Are you an addict? Based on a proliferation of stereotypes, my guess is most people would say “no”. If I ask you to picture a heroin junkie, a pot head (yes, you absolutely can get addicted to weed), or an alcoholic, what type ...

Could Everyone be an Addict? (Part 2)

Could Everyone be an Addict? (Part 2) Before beginning this post, I encourage you to read Part 1 because it holds several important and foundational ideas needed to understand and apply this post to its fullest potential. Read it. Chew on it. Then come back to this blog post and continue reading. 12-step programs, AA in particular, have been the butt of many debates ranging from “They’re God’s gift to man” to “They’re arrogant and ineffective”. It would be easy for us to jump into the debate along ...

The 2 Most Important Questions Everyone Must Ask

The 2 Most Important Questions Everyone Must Ask Would you believe me If I told you the 2 most important questions were: How happy am I? How much money do I make? I certainly hope you don’t believe me because those questions are garbage. Would you really let money define you like that? How do you even quantify happiness? No, both of these questions are rubbish. They are merely things in which society wants me to feel the pressure of performance. What about these next two questions: How wise am I? How much do ...

Why I Love Payday!

Why I Love Payday! I’ve been told I get overly excited about my paycheck. But I love payday! Each time my husband or I get paid, I do a little happy dance, okay not really but it’s a great idea anyway. I get extremely happy, giddy even, when someone hands me the check and I look at the number. I am the one who does the finances in my home, so this always means more work for me. I have to go divide it ...

How to: Boundaries 101

How to: Boundaries 101 Like it or not, boundaries are a necessary part of life. Some boundaries are made for us, like state laws. Some laws are very effective and some are just funny. For example, it is illegal for anyone to cross the state line of Kansas with a duck on their head. Personal boundaries can be the same: they can be effective or effectively useless. Many people go through life feeling taken advantage of, unsafe, rejected or disrespected by certain people. These ...

How to: Self-care

How to: Self-care Taking care of myself, or as us therapists like to call it, Self-Care, can seem selfish to many, but is it really? Sometimes people will say, “I just need a break from life” or “I’ve had a really hard day” to excuse negative behavior like a spending spree, eating junk food, or treating loved ones poorly. This is not self-care. This is self-sabotage. It may feel good in the moment, but in the long run, it is hurtful to you ...

How To Forgive

How To Forgive If you haven’t read it already, check out my blog post The Surprising Truth about Forgiveness to make sure you have the proper foundation before embarking on this next post. Most of us understand that forgiveness is amazingly important. This one concept has the power to define who you are and direct the path of your life either by its presence or absence. Seems important to get it right then…right? I offer the following as my perspective on how to forgive. Self-Assessment The ...

How to Support Someone Who Has a Mental Illness

How to Support Someone Who Has a Mental Illness Educate Yourself. If you suspect a family member or friend has a mental illness or they told you they were diagnosed, learn as much as you can about the illness. Learn what causes it, for example, in depression serotonin levels are low, do you know what that means and how serotonin works in the brain? If not, look it up! Just by being there and loving them is a major help, and the first step is to know what their diagnosis ...

10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Like The Man!

10 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Like The Man! Ever get tired of pouring into your husband? Admittedly, sometimes I get lazy in this area, and I think I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel like he is not pouring into me as much as I want, or I just plain don’t feel like he deserves it. Whatever my excuse to avoid giving him support, encouragement, love, and respect…it’s a bad one. He should always have these things from me. It is an unconditional gift I need to be giving ...

What To Do If You See Abuse

What To Do If You See Abuse This is a follow up to my blog about Domestic Violence. Read that, know the signs, then understand what you can do to help by reading below. Abuse is everywhere. One in every three women are abused sexually and that is a staggering number considering how the addition of statistics for physical and verbal forms of abuse would only increase that number. This is not a game and it’s not something to joke about. Sexual abuse doesn’t happen because they wore ...