Why Secondary Trauma Is A Big Deal

Why Secondary Trauma Is A Big Deal Grief is an all-encompassing word. It is an experience of loss. This loss can range from the death of a loved one, all the way to the death of an idea, or a hope. It is all loss. The kind of loss I want to talk about is called secondary trauma. Trauma is anything that we experience as life-altering or overwhelming. It can be something as “small” as finding out Santa Clause is not real (which could include finding out ...

A Story about a Painting

A Story about a Painting “This is never going to work,” I thought, “but I’m going to keep pushing forward until someone besides myself tells me I can’t move forward. If I never try, I will always wonder if it could have actually worked.” My wife, Betsy, had long been enamored by the paintings of a man from West Michigan named George Peebles. She loved his style and the vibrant color that often accompanied the moments of nature he would capture on canvas. Many months before ...

We Don’t Know Squat: A challenge to let go of assumptions

We Don’t Know Squat: A challenge to let go of assumptions             How many times over the course of humanity have the greatest minds in this world convinced us that we cannot accomplish something? How many times have they been completely wrong? Flying, for example, was happening only 8 years after it was declared “impossible” by William Thomson, a mathematical physicist. Charles Duell, the commissioner of the U.S. patent office once said, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” He said this in 1899. One of my favorite stories on this topic ...

How to Stop Negative Thinking

How to Stop Negative Thinking Stress is a constant. Busy schedules, kids to care for, lack of sleep, the dog is sick, and traffic all contribute to stress and anxiety. Unmanaged stress can lead to worry, negative thinking, low self-esteem and depression. If you could stop your negative thinking and, as a result, feel less stressed, get better sleep, and feel happier…would you? I’m here to tell you that it’s possible. Paul states in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that “…we take captive every thought to make it ...

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason Have you ever said to yourself things like, “I wish life was better”, “I wish I felt more fulfilled”, or “I wish I had more peace in my life”? If there was a guaranteed way to make life better, how far would you go to get it? What if the 3 pounds inside your skull could make your life better even without a single thing about your external life changing? That all sounds like it would be amazing right? Now, ...

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain This post is a follow up to an earlier post that I recommend you read first: How To Stop Negative Thinking. Negative thinking hits us all. I know that, for me, it is incredibly difficult to stop myself from going around and around the whirlpool of spiraling thoughts, eventually sucking me into anger, depression and frustration. Once we hit the rim of a negative thought, how do we stop the inevitable spiral down? It’s incredibly discouraging to try and try again ...

When Life Feels Out of Control

When Life Feels Out of Control My life recently has felt out of control. Sometimes, things just throw me for a loop. A curve ball comes from nowhere, life gets very difficult, and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes life throws us difficult situations and we feel helpless, or even hopeless. A dear friend or family member dies, a child chooses to go in the wrong direction in life, chronic illness seems to debilitate no matter what one does, or one looses a job. Life ...

I’m Having A Bad Day

I’m Having A Bad Day I’m having a bad day. Things just aren’t going well. Or should I say more accurately, things aren’t going my way. It’s difficult, and can set my whole life spinning. So what do I do in a situation where I’m having a bad day? I notice my self-talk. Self-talk are the messages I tell myself or that little voice inside my head that is telling me, in this case, “You’re worthless. Look at how people have treated you poorly in ...

Mourning the Loss of What Could Have Been

Mourning the Loss of What Could Have Been Something didn’t happen to you. It could have been a mother’s warm embrace that never happened because she was too busy drinking. A marriage that didn’t have a “happily ever after” because it is now ending. A child that was still born instead of being vibrant and healthy. A friend that was not there for you when you needed them the most, leaving you without support. You lost something, and your hopes and dreams about what could have been are now ...

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication When my wife and I moved to Colorado Springs for a new job we had been married a whopping two weeks. Thrown into a life where just about everything was unfamiliar, we were set up to have some serious conflict. We were also very ill prepared for how to have a healthy fight. Like many young married couples, we had heard the ideas like “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and the horror stories about marriages ending because ...