How to Grieve for the Oregon Shooting and so Much More

How to Grieve for the Oregon Shooting and so Much More On October 1st, 2015, ten young and beautiful lives walked into Oregon’s Umpqua Community College and never walked out. Ten lives, including the shooter, which had boundless potential for either great good or great destruction. It is easy to get mixed up in the flurry of opinions around the tragedy, yet we must recognize that the most important and heart breaking word of the previous sentence is the word “had”. The anger and pain of injustice scream within us because ...

How to face death and destruction without losing your mind

How to face death and destruction without losing your mind *Some details have been changed to protect the individual’s identity. “I watched them get murdered and I didn’t use.” she said. Her face wore an expression like she couldn’t believe she had actually stayed sober. The gun man had been on foot, causing bloodshed, leaving our town with four less souls in it that night, including his own. Emma had wrestled with addiction to heroin for 6 years and had only been sober for a little less than 6 months when she ...

How to Stop Negative Thinking

How to Stop Negative Thinking Stress is a constant. Busy schedules, kids to care for, lack of sleep, the dog is sick, and traffic all contribute to stress and anxiety. Unmanaged stress can lead to worry, negative thinking, low self-esteem and depression. If you could stop your negative thinking and, as a result, feel less stressed, get better sleep, and feel happier…would you? I’m here to tell you that it’s possible. Paul states in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that “…we take captive every thought to make it ...

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason

10 Ways We Make Ourselves Miserable for No Good Reason Have you ever said to yourself things like, “I wish life was better”, “I wish I felt more fulfilled”, or “I wish I had more peace in my life”? If there was a guaranteed way to make life better, how far would you go to get it? What if the 3 pounds inside your skull could make your life better even without a single thing about your external life changing? That all sounds like it would be amazing right? Now, ...

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain

9 Ways You are Flushing Your Happiness Down the Drain This post is a follow up to an earlier post that I recommend you read first: How To Stop Negative Thinking. Negative thinking hits us all. I know that, for me, it is incredibly difficult to stop myself from going around and around the whirlpool of spiraling thoughts, eventually sucking me into anger, depression and frustration. Once we hit the rim of a negative thought, how do we stop the inevitable spiral down? It’s incredibly discouraging to try and try again ...

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication

9 Steps Guaranteed to Improve your Communication When my wife and I moved to Colorado Springs for a new job we had been married a whopping two weeks. Thrown into a life where just about everything was unfamiliar, we were set up to have some serious conflict. We were also very ill prepared for how to have a healthy fight. Like many young married couples, we had heard the ideas like “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and the horror stories about marriages ending because ...

Of frozen pizza and forgetful husbands

Of frozen pizza and forgetful husbands In honor of the many respectable women that I know, my wife being the fairest of them all, I wanted to offer this blog post to give some insight and encouragement for those moments when your husband just doesn’t seem to get it. Husbands, this is for you too because this post holds insight into what your best lady might be thinking through the process. How many men in this world have heard “You seriously can’t remember this?” or “We have ...

How to Communicate: Making your own Observation without Bias

How to Communicate: Making your own Observation without Bias Scientists learn how to study objects without putting their own bias into the findings. As you may very well know, this is a very difficult task to do. If a scientist is studying the negative effects of chemotherapy in cancer patients, it is likely that person is studying it because they have an already pre-made position on what the findings may be. They formulate a hypotheses (“I believe this study will show that chemotherapy has more devastating effects to the ...

How to Communicate with Empathy

How to Communicate with Empathy “When…someone really hears you without passing judgement on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels…good…. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable turns into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.” -Carl Rodgers I am not ...

Why I’m Right All the Time and You’re Not

Why I’m Right All the Time and You’re Not Once I was riding in the car with a friend who took my wife and I to see an event. The event went well and we all had a fine time, but something interesting happened on the way home. Our friend who, about 10 minutes earlier was complaining that someone was driving too close behind her, was driving too close behind someone else. Traffic on the three lane highway was minimal at that point in the trip and she could ...