“When…someone really hears you without passing judgement on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels…good…. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable turns into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.”
-Carl Rodgers
I am not ...
How to Communicate with Empathy
“When…someone really hears you without passing judgement on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels…good…. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable turns into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.”
-Carl Rodgers
I am not ...
Once I was riding in the car with a friend who took my wife and I to see an event. The event went well and we all had a fine time, but something interesting happened on the way home. Our friend who, about 10 minutes earlier was complaining that someone was driving too close behind her, was driving too close behind someone else. Traffic on the three lane highway was minimal at that point in the trip and she could ...
I am always impressed by what people say they can and cannot do or achieve. I believe that life is determined by the boundaries we accept within it. Meaning that my dreams, accomplishments, or even financial budget are the product of what I believe I can or cannot do in this world. Let me share with you a story of my life as an example.
My wife is an amazing and lovely women whom I love very much, so last year ...
The Fear
I must admit that when the stock market fell through the floor last week and has continued to falter, I was seriously concerned about my retirement funds and had some anxiety at the thought of what our monthly statement would say when it came in the mail. I know I’m not alone here. One look at the media attention given to the issue is evidence enough that the hemorrhaging market is putting hoards of people on edge about what the ...
Dear Retirement Plan,
I need you. I hate you.
You tell me all these wonderful promises about how you will be there for me when my body is overrun by time and wrinkles. You tell me that it’s okay for my back to be bent beyond its ability to work because someday you will support me. You say that, work or not, someday I will be safe and warm, no matter what. For all this, I am tempted to love you and ...
“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter.” – C. Joybell C.
“You think because he doesn’t love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn’t want you anymore that he is right — that his judgment and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. ...
Below is part of a chapter out of the book I am currently working on. I think we can all relate. Enjoy!
Adolescence can be seen like a massive hurricane (and for many of us, it was). This hurricane consists of two major tasks, 1) surviving the raging waters of new hormones and emotions, and 2) withstanding the screaming winds of our first taste of autonomy – independence and figuring out where we fit in the pecking order. If we were ...
Picture your stomach being twisted like a balloon in the hands of a clown. Imagine your heart being squeezed in the clutches of the Hulk. This is what it feels like to hear those words. The words we have all heard at some point in our lives that sucks the breath right out of us. It could be the announcement of a death, an affair, a lost job, or money that evaporated. Do you remember those words? If you repeat ...
I remember going through some serious pain in my life and thinking about going to therapy at one point, long before I decided to become a therapist myself. I remember a few distinct mental blocks and fears that kept me from going (or from thinking I really needed therapy in the first place).
I can handle this myself
Bad times pass and so will this, right?
It’s too expensive
Isn’t this issue too big for just talking to fix?
How can I know the therapist ...
